Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize