My room smells like vodka and shame
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I queefed so loud it echoed.
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I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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