I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
