dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
