Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
