.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
