is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
