There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize