It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
