he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
