Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I didn't notice because vodka
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
