If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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