I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
