He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
