Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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