Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
