So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans