We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.