Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire