dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
