Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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