i just identified you from a description of your pipe
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
