Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
