Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
