I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
