Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
