thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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