We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so let's talk penis.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
