Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize