so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
