I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
and you fell through a lawn chair
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
