apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Well I just put wine in my tea
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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