Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
