Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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