Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
