You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 2 1 whiskey
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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