My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
