So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize