There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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