So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
