do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
