I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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