new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I intend to get homeless drunk
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
