Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
