I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize