I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I fill condoms, not promises.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize