it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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