sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
