Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?