Bea Arthur died! :(
Big bird passed.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.