Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
