i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
