It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
