im six kinds of drunk right now
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
