someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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