everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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