I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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