Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I want a musical about memes.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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