I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
