she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize