Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
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