Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
