dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
