So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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