I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
