I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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