The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
