and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
