Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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