Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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